Weigh In Wednesday: February 4

Well it's been a hot minute since I have posted a Weigh In Wednesday post but don't worry I'm back! Must be that new "ready" feeling I have to accomplish my goals that I mentioned yesterday.

To catch you up here's how my last couple of weigh ins have gone.

Dec. 10: 215.6

Jan 14: 222 (+6.4)

Jan 21: 217.4 (-4.6)

Jan 28: 218.2 (+0.8)

Up and down as usual it seems. But overall January wasn't a bad month for me besides seeing that two twenty something number up there. Just goes to show that little changes can go along way and add up to something bigger.

Now for today's weigh in...drum roll please!

Height: 5'7.5''

SW: 222

Jan 28: 218.2

Today: 219.8

Change: +1.6

Overall Loss:

May the scale be ever in your favor. :)

February Goals

I've found that part of being successful at just about anything in life includes making goals for yourself. My last post was all about how 2015 is going to be the year of me and I made some goals for the year. The trouble with that is they're all long term goals. In order to make those goals seem less daunting I need to break them down into smaller goals so I've decided I will make monthly goals.

1. No soda at work & 64oz of water. A coworker and I have been encouraging each other to drink more water and to skip the daily soda. I did really well for four days and then came back to work the next week and only made it two days before we ordered pizza and we caved to having a soda and it was all down hill from there for me. Starting today I'll be back to drinking water like it's my job.
2. Body Pump every week. Last night was my first time back at Body Pump in two weeks. And it was tough! Wishing I hadn't taken those two weeks off now. I have no excuse to skip Body Pump this month since they have now added a 4:30pm class on Wednesdays that works perfectly with my schedule and will give me less time to talk myself out of going by myself. (Mondays I meet my mom at the class.) I may even try going twice one week just to see how it goes. Who knows, it could become part of my routine!
3. Hit the gym 2x/week. Last week I signed up for a 6 month fitness membership where I've been taking Body Pump classes. I realized that if I continued to wait for perfect sidewalk conditions during these winter months I was never going to get out there. Now I can walk, run, bike, or jump on the elliptical during the rest of the week which has previously been all about me being a bum watching Netflix.
4. Be up and out of bed by 6am at least 3x/week. This one is pretty self explanatory, I'm spending too much time hitting the snooze button in the morning. Being out of bed by 6am will help me feel less rushed and stressed in the morning, allow me time to make breakfast and pack a lunch, and take a second to care about my appearance for once.
5. Take makeup off before bed every night. Another self explanatory goal here. Makeup removing cloths make doing this a breeze. Now it's time to be disciplined about doing it.

I'm not sure why but this year feels different than years past. I feel ready to tackle these goals and do what it takes to reach them. I'm looking forward to the challenge I've set for myself with these goals for the month and am feeling confident that they will be reached.

Do you set monthly goals to help breakdown your long term goals?

The Year of Me

In case you missed it, it's 2015.  New year = fresh start! I'm taking full advantage of this fresh start too!

I'm declaring 2015 the year of me.  All of these goals/resolutions (whatever you want to call them) are going to better me.  They are for me. They are what I want.

First up, leave the past in the past. After some self reflecting I realized that I reference the past a lot, and not in a good way. I think about my failed past attempts at losing weight, eating right, and getting fit, etc. and I dwell on the fact that I failed or I let the fact that I failed before negatively affect my mindset for the current goal that I am trying to accomplish. As of this moment right now, no more! I am going to focus more on the right now and what I can be doing to further myself in my goals. Some reflection on the past is good and a learning opportunity though so I am totally on board with that.

Drink more water! At least 64oz a day will suit me just fine. I've been using Crystal Light to flavor my water lately because it makes it just a little more enjoyable to drink water all day.

Eat better. I'm not going to choose a diet to try or start things off with a detox. I'm just going to take baby steps and make healthier choices. I am going to try to stick to the outer edge of the store and only say no to the junk once by not bringing it into my home. Part of eating better is planning. When I don't have a plan I eat a lot of junk. I'll track what I'm eating using My Fitness Pal just to keep things in check.

Move more. I've been going to Body Pump once a week and I'm really starting to enjoy it and am trying to increase my weight on some tracks. But Body Pump once a week is not enough. I am going to join a gym so I can get back to running and doing more activity. I'm thinking just a 6 month membership since I really only need to get through the winter months before I can take my running outdoors again.

Being an adult is expensive so this year I want to do a better job at spending mindfully. Paying for insurance (of all kinds) isn't cheap and I've only added more deductions to my paycheck for 2015 so I need to be a bit more mindful of where I'm spending my money and on what (needs vs. wants). I want to do a better job at budgeting and tracking my spending this year as well.

This year I will turn 25 and I think it is high time that I establish a skin care routine. (And stick to it!) In my 24 years so far I've established some pretty bad habits regarding skin care. I go to bed without taking my makeup off and I wash my face regularly only every now and again. I'm horrible at remembering to apply lotion to my body. My poor feet take a beating and the only time they see any care is when I get a pedicure. This is the year to change it all though!

And finally, be clutter free. I want to take the time to find a place for things in my apartment rather than leaving them out in the open on some surface that isn't "in my way." I also want to organize my bathroom shelves and put clothes away after they're clean and dry. I have a wonderful personalized planner from May Designs that I want to use along with my cell phone calendar to keep track of appointments, birthdays, and maybe even blog posts!

If you missed the lose 50 pounds by December 31st goal that's because I didn't make it. While I would love to reach my goal weight by the end of the year I've decided to take it in another direction.  It seems like I'm not the only one that has decided to take the focus away from the scale in 2015 as I've read some other blog posts recently that have avoided the lose x amount of pounds by x date goal. If I focus on eating better, moving more, and drinking at least 64oz of water a day the weight loss will follow.

I have a good amount of weight I would like to lose and focusing on that number is overwhelming and discouraging sometimes. Taking the focus away from that number and putting it on the steps that need to be taken to achieve results should be more beneficial to me.

My fresh start begins now. I'm feeling motivated and hope to finally find the elusive determination when that motivation fades. I'm ready! 2015 is going to be my year.

Christmas Traditions

As if you didn't already know, Christmas time is here!  Like really, really here considering it's just two short days away.  And being that it's so close it has me thinking about my family traditions.

Growing up lunch on Christmas Eve was always at my great grandma's (my grandpa's mother) with my mom's family including my grandpa's brother's family.  But as my great grandma got older that tradition faded out. It just became too much for her to cook a big meal for every one.

These days Christmas Eve is rotated between my parents', my aunt Pam's, and my aunt and uncle Maureen and Scott's.  This year we're at Scott and Maureen's.  We've also changed things up a bit and only do snack type foods instead of a full sit down meal.  This year I'm in charge of bringing the crab!  I always look forward to Maureen's mushrooms.  (I wish I had a name for them!)  Of course presents are exchanged.  And once all the gifts have been opened we get comfy and watch a movie together.  A few years ago we watched Bridesmaids.  I'm sure you know how funny the movie is but I think the funniest part was watching my great grandma (my grandma's mother) not quite understand what was going on (she can't hear well) when the girl in the wedding dress sits down in the street.  We all tried so hard to not laugh and we came up with something to tell her... I think.

Christmas Day we all gather again, this time at my grandparent's for lunch.  We fill our tummies with ham, mashed potatoes, corn/broccoli, and of course dinner rolls.  With full bellies we get comfy once again to watch another movie together and just hang out.

I'm sure you're all wondering what my immediate family does for Christmas traditions.  To be honest, it's changed over the years and hasn't always been staying the same.  Growing up we always got a real tree but the last few years my mom has adopted a little three foot fake tree.  The little guy just fits better into our living room and doesn't require solving a puzzle to find where furniture can be moved to in order to fit a full size real tree.

We used to always open presents Christmas morning and sometimes we still do.  But then there are times like last year when we opened our presents on Christmas Eve after we get home from whatever house we were just at.  I think part of it has to do with whether or not my brother has to work Christmas morning.  Or maybe it has to do with what church service we're planning to go to.  I'll be honest, sleeping in is one of my favorite things to do even on Christmas morning.  Sometimes it's easier for us to not have to worry about getting everyone (everyone but my dad will sleep in like it's no body's business) up in time to open presents and eat breakfast before having to shoo everyone off to get ready for church.

So maybe our tradition is that what we do is always changing?

Are we the only family that has changed our traditions or that doesn't stick to the same thing every year?

Weigh In Wednesday: December 10

As I'm sure you have all been able to guess based on my lack of posting, getting back on the healthy living wagon isn't going so well.  I'm always really motivated for a couple of hours or a day or two but then that motivation fades.  When the motivation fades it takes something called discipline to keep doing what needs to be done even when you don't want to.  Right now I am definitely lacking discipline.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle.  Even people who have been successful losing weight, like Carolyn, struggle with doing what needs to be done day after day in order to see results.  I've read this post a couple of times now and I will probably read it a couple more times to remind myself of what it takes to see results.  And even if I don't take the time to read the entire post again I will at least remind myself of two simple things.  "Motivation gets you to work out when you want to work out.  Discipline is what gets you there when you don't."

It's a relief to know that I'm not alone in the struggle to be disciplined when it comes to living a healthy life.  But yet I feel very alone because I feel like I am the only one that isn't getting it through my head that I need to be disciplined with working out and making healthy food choices if I want to see results.  I know what needs to be done and I know how to go about doing it but I'm still making excuses and talking myself out of doing what needs to be done.  And I won't lie, it's super frustrating and makes me think about giving up.  A lot.

But then I look at myself in the mirror, see a picture from a few years ago, or think about the plastic tote full of clothes that currently do not fit and I'm reminded why I want to change my life.  So I'm not giving up.  I will keep tying as many times as it takes for it to stick with me.

Height: 5'7.5''

SW: 213.6 215.6

Nov 13: 212.7

Today: 215.6

Change: +2.9

Woof!  What a kick in the gut that was.

Weighing In

Well hello there! Guess who's back?!

It's 9pm on Friday and I'm sitting down to write this blog post that has been a long time coming. Just call me grandma I guess because I'm happy to be in my pj's finally reconnecting with my blog. And I'm excited that I'm going to be linking up with two great link ups.

First up, Weigh In Wednesday! My last time linking up with July 30th. And I guess it's safe to say I "fell off the wagon" since then. It's frustrating to know that I've made absolutely no progress since that last weigh in. In fact, I have gained and have reached a new highest weight. But I'm not throwing in the towel yet and I have no where else to go but up (or down) from here!

Height: 5'7.5''

SW: 208.1 213.6

July 30: 207.5

November 13: 212.7

Change: +4.6

Raising the bar (in the wrong way) is a hard pill to swallow but I'm moving forward. I lost almost a pound from the time that I weighed in at my highest. And hopefully I see about four more pounds fall off before the new year.

Which brings me to my next link up!

The lovely Carolyn started a link up so that anyone pledging to get #fit4fifteen has a place to find support to reach their goals. Be sure to check out her post here and link up if you're joining us!

Like I said, I want to lose 5 pounds before the start of 2015. This can be accomplished if I stick to the plan which might need some rethinking now that winter has set in here in Wisconsin but overall is still holding true. I have a home run goal that I would be ecstatic to reach but it would take me on point every day. And I'll be honest, I'm human and I don't think that's possible for me. I'm going to enjoy some Mountain Dew here and there. I'm going to indulge in some Red Lobster (tomorrow probably actually). And I'm going to enjoy the holidays with the special treats that we only have once a year. But despite all of that, I can still see progress and end 2014 in a better place than I am right now, at least 5 pounds lighter.

Are you getting #fit4fifteen? Do you join a gym for the winter months or do you tough the weather to continue exercising outside?

Letting Go

Throughout my short twenty four years of life I've learned more times than I can count that letting go, while sometimes the best thing for me, is sometimes the hardest thing to do.  The hardest part of letting go is knowing that it's for the best but still thinking that I don't want to.

Today I'm talking about letting go of someone who isn't good for me.  I've actually mentioned him before here.  I called him The Player then but I think I'll just refer to him as "him" from now on. I'm not sure that the name I gave him then really fits what he is.  But please don't ask me what he is because I couldn't tell you even if I tried.  Anyways, back to the point of the story...

After taking some time apart, again, we've found our way back to each other again.  We've been randomly talking and even more randomly getting together.  I'm not sure what I was thinking by letting him into my life again.  Yes, I made some great memories with him when we first reconnected (and he was single) but those memories will always be there.  I don't need to continue to hang out with him to remember the good times we had.

After seeing him this past Friday night and having him text me in the wee hours of the morning Saturday to see if I was awake, it hit me.  And then I was hit with it again Sunday when The Single Woman tweeted, "Whether your phone rings at 2pm when he's busy or 2am when he's lonely should tell you whether or not he's right for you."  It was like she knew my life and knew I needed to read that.  He isn't right for me!

Whether your phone rings at 2pm when he's busy or 2am when he's lonely should tell you whether or not he's right for you.
— TheSingleWoman™ (@TheSingleWoman) October 6, 2014

Funny thing is, I knew this all along. I've known he's not right for me.  I want a man who will be 100% happy with me and not need to hang out with other girls (and clearly blur the lines of friendship) for whatever reason.  This guy is not that man.  So why do I keep letting him back into my life?

Probably because the dating aspect of my life doesn't seem to be going so great.  (Maybe more on the dating stuff another time.)  Essentially this guy is just kind of always around so when I'm feeling down about the lack of prospects in my life I like to feel like I'm wanted by at least one guy.  This is definitely not a healthy way to go about dealing with how I feel though so it needs to end.

And after this past weekend I've decided that it will happen no more.  I cannot continue to let him into my life to mess things up.  I feel like he pulls me back from the progress I make with being okay with being single and also with trying to join the dating world.  He won't make me happy in the long run and he's not what I want from a man.  It may be hard to let go of this safety net (if you could call it that considering that it isn't always preventing me from being hurt) that I have with him but it needs to be done.  It's going to be hard because I'm sure he'll try to talk to me again and make me want to give in to seeing him again.  Isn't it always though?  I deleted his text messages and I'll be working double time to remove him from my best friends on snapchat.

I even took it a step further and let go of the failed attempts at dating that I was holding onto in my messages.  Initially I kept them for blogging purposes (thought I might reference them for a post).  But then as time passed I realized it was past the appropriate time frame to blog about each of those failed attempts individually (where I would have liked to reference those messages) and that I was just holding on to them more as reminders of what didn't work.

I'm starting fresh with no reminders of the past and things that didn't work out.  I've let go and I'm moving on.

Do you ever struggle to let go of something/someone you know is bad for you?